Meditation is like eating well and exercising. It's something I know I should do. It's something that I know makes me feel better in the long run. It doesn't even take that long! I realistically just need to spend 5-10 minutes a day doing a nice simple guided meditation and I feel calmer and more steady overall. I imagine sitting on a beach, drifting down a river, you know the drill. But.... just like choosing salad over a cheeseburger for lunch I resist Every. Single. Day.
I make resolutions and set alarms on my phone, and comply religiously for 3 days. Then it gets pushed one day to browse facebook for that extra 5 minutes, or to read just one more news article (the exact opposite of meditation). Then it gets pushed again and again & soon enough I'm snapping & short tempered.
So what's the resistance? Meditation should be relaxing, and eventually it does have that effect, but much like taking up exercise, it's work at first. It's work to quiet my mind from the constant thrum of society, the constant siren call of my phone, and the deep, deep seeded desire to be DOING all the time. It's hard for me to sit still. It's hard to convince my brain that just sitting & thinking is a worthwhile activity even though I have all the evidence.
Recently my husband saw me struggling once again and made a magical suggestion. "Why don't you knit while you you do the guided meditation?". As is often the case, he has hit the nail on the head. I am an experienced knitter so working something relatively easy while mediating is the perfect combo. It feeds that deep desire to be DOING while allowing my mind to drift, breaths to deepen, and endorphin to flow. It's turned a bit of self care that I was dreading into an excuse to do "just one more row".
So here's to a bit of self realization, self care and just a few more rows.